Sometimes it's better to be oblivious to the world around us.
We were celebrating Bb's birthday yesterday, and one of the destinations was to Star City. Once again going to the place has opened my eyes to the troubled world. Personally, I found the casino to be disgusting. I saw it as a home for all these mentally ill people throwing their money away into a sink. The only winners there would be the owner of the casino, as in my one hour stay there all I saw was people losing money like there was no tomorrow. Then again, who am I to complain if people are willing to chuck their paychecks away for the thrill? Another interesting thing I found was that msot of the casino dealers were Chinese. I felt that it made the Chinese look like the vectors of mental illness. I don't want to enter that wretched place ever again truth be told. It is probably the most sin filled place apart from the brothels.
This morning I was just googling random things and I found a link about bullying in China. Children were stripped and beaten up and raped to avoid being beaten up in Guangdong. I saw a clip of a naked girl being slapped around and what seemed like being raped by several men. She did not even put up any resistance. I felt a bit of me die inside, as it was the first time I have been exposed to something this explicit. Sure, there is war and anarchy going on but to see something like this in a more community level made me sick.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Change
Change is something most people do not enjoy as people are generally more comfortable with stability. For me, a huge change will happen very soon as I will be heading into my community rotation.
I am still a little unsure of what to expect in communtiy at the moment. On one hand, I feel that this rotation has come at a good time. To be honest, I think I am starting to feel some burn out at the unit. I feel that my learning in there has plateaud and that there isn't much for me to gain there anymore. In addition, I feel that work has become more of a grind lately and that the environment has had me felt powerless at times.
On the other hand, I will be heading into a position that makes me a case manager which implicates alot more responsibilities. Issues with my clients will follow me as I cannot just hand it over to the next nurse, delaying these issues will only excerbate the issues. There is going to be intense pressure and stress in the first weeks. I will be taking charge of centrelink payments and living arrangements for my patients, I will advocate for them in the magistrates, I will lead a team of health professionals in directing the care for them. In addition, I will be driving government cars. These cars are the newest models and considering I got my P's not long ago, I am horrified of scratching them (even if theyre insured by the hospital).
I think overall I am looking forward to this change though. I like challenges, it makes my life interesting and it only makes me stronger if I am put into a difficult environment... if I do not crumble under the pressure that is.
This is me at a transitional point in my career after choosing nursing over my business career. If I had stayed in the business career ... I would already be a manager at a shoe company... or continue working at the lawfirm at the Governor Phillip Tower enjoying the view. However I have chosen this path and I have not regretted it the slightest bit. Sure, my profession does not have the prestiege and the glamour, but who in their right mind would like to wear gorilla suits roaming the city anyway?
I am still a little unsure of what to expect in communtiy at the moment. On one hand, I feel that this rotation has come at a good time. To be honest, I think I am starting to feel some burn out at the unit. I feel that my learning in there has plateaud and that there isn't much for me to gain there anymore. In addition, I feel that work has become more of a grind lately and that the environment has had me felt powerless at times.
On the other hand, I will be heading into a position that makes me a case manager which implicates alot more responsibilities. Issues with my clients will follow me as I cannot just hand it over to the next nurse, delaying these issues will only excerbate the issues. There is going to be intense pressure and stress in the first weeks. I will be taking charge of centrelink payments and living arrangements for my patients, I will advocate for them in the magistrates, I will lead a team of health professionals in directing the care for them. In addition, I will be driving government cars. These cars are the newest models and considering I got my P's not long ago, I am horrified of scratching them (even if theyre insured by the hospital).
I think overall I am looking forward to this change though. I like challenges, it makes my life interesting and it only makes me stronger if I am put into a difficult environment... if I do not crumble under the pressure that is.
This is me at a transitional point in my career after choosing nursing over my business career. If I had stayed in the business career ... I would already be a manager at a shoe company... or continue working at the lawfirm at the Governor Phillip Tower enjoying the view. However I have chosen this path and I have not regretted it the slightest bit. Sure, my profession does not have the prestiege and the glamour, but who in their right mind would like to wear gorilla suits roaming the city anyway?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Initiative
During a night shift at approximately 0230, the nurse looking after the acute side came up to me with a very concerned expression on her face " Jacky, will you accompany me? [Patient name omitted] is missing from her room and there is smoke in the ward!".
I made a nervous joke that perhaps the patient burnt herself to ashes. Hopeful thinking aside, I instantly felt that this may mean that impending trouble was coming along our side as this woman was a really horrible person. When angerted she would physically smash everything/anybody within her vicinity and was unpredictable in nature. If she was to start playing up at this time of the night, all the other patients will be awoken and we would be understaffed to control the onslaught as there are only 3 staff members in night shifts. Unfortunately, we had a nurse doing a double and she needed a few hours of sleep, so it was the 2 of us.
We took our torchlights and made sure we had our duress alarms ready just in case she decided to give us some fist sandwiches. As a male working in this field it can be abit disadvantageous. Although I was not assigned to work on the acute side that night, I had to be there to accompany my colleague as I was the only male in the ward at the time and I was undeniably more stronger and capable of defending myself compared to her. We walked together down the dark corridor, expecting anything to break loose. Incidentally, the work colleague saw the lady walk out of a male patients' room, fortunately still fully dressed. She immediately started questioning why she was in the other persons room and told her it was not appropriate to enter anybody elses room - especially at night time. The patient was apologetic and said she only wanted to be there because she wanted to chat to the man in that room who I shall call 'Ray'.
Now I knew this was totally untrue. I have never seen the two chat in broad daylight and Ray seemed to be abit dazed. One thing whcih caught my suspicion was that Ray had a pair of pants visible on his bed. My initiative took over and I told my colleague to escort the lady back to her room. This is because she kept lingering about the outside of Ray's room and that anything which will even slightly upset her will cause her to erupt in a fit of rage - and we did not want that.
My colleague escorted her back to her room and made sure she stayed in bed while I stood outside Ray's room. Afterwards I told my colleague to stand by me as our business was not finished. She was abit confused as to why I decided to suddenly give out these 'orders', especially when she was a few years senior to me in experience. I told her I wanted to make sure Ray was not having intercourse with her, and I had to do this by lifting his blanket to check if he was naked inside...especially sicne he had a pair of pants on his bed right beside him. There has been cases where the hospital can be sued if the patients had intercourse and got pregnant. Anyhow I peeked inside the blanket and sure enough he was wearing his pants... however I also noticed a trail of tobacco leading to the other pair of pants on his bed.
I politely and assertively told him " Ray, I understand that you have some items on you which need to be returned to the office. I'm sure it is to both our interests that the security not get involved... so please co operate and return those cigarettes." I was not scared, but I knew that there was always the possibility of him lunging at me. However he adhered to my instructions and he handed over 2 packets of cigarette materials and a lighter.
The next morning, when the female patient woke up, she was raging. She swore and threatened to kill Ray, because he "uppercutted" her. She started kicking and smashing the mental health facilities and was really becoming a danger to those around her. We all knew this was not true; there was an underground tobacco blackmarket going on in the ward and Ray was the one caught with the 'goods'.
I am still feeling very proud of myself, as I knew this was going to happen. It was always my intention to divert her away from the nicotine bust and then let her find out in the morning instead, as there will be more staff to deal with her aggression and that at least it was daytime so there would be less disruption in the ward.
I have acquired the skill to lead and manage problems tactfully and foresee potential circumstances from occuring. It is very much important to be able to think on your feet when you are on the ward, and take charge when the situation arises.
I made a nervous joke that perhaps the patient burnt herself to ashes. Hopeful thinking aside, I instantly felt that this may mean that impending trouble was coming along our side as this woman was a really horrible person. When angerted she would physically smash everything/anybody within her vicinity and was unpredictable in nature. If she was to start playing up at this time of the night, all the other patients will be awoken and we would be understaffed to control the onslaught as there are only 3 staff members in night shifts. Unfortunately, we had a nurse doing a double and she needed a few hours of sleep, so it was the 2 of us.
We took our torchlights and made sure we had our duress alarms ready just in case she decided to give us some fist sandwiches. As a male working in this field it can be abit disadvantageous. Although I was not assigned to work on the acute side that night, I had to be there to accompany my colleague as I was the only male in the ward at the time and I was undeniably more stronger and capable of defending myself compared to her. We walked together down the dark corridor, expecting anything to break loose. Incidentally, the work colleague saw the lady walk out of a male patients' room, fortunately still fully dressed. She immediately started questioning why she was in the other persons room and told her it was not appropriate to enter anybody elses room - especially at night time. The patient was apologetic and said she only wanted to be there because she wanted to chat to the man in that room who I shall call 'Ray'.
Now I knew this was totally untrue. I have never seen the two chat in broad daylight and Ray seemed to be abit dazed. One thing whcih caught my suspicion was that Ray had a pair of pants visible on his bed. My initiative took over and I told my colleague to escort the lady back to her room. This is because she kept lingering about the outside of Ray's room and that anything which will even slightly upset her will cause her to erupt in a fit of rage - and we did not want that.
My colleague escorted her back to her room and made sure she stayed in bed while I stood outside Ray's room. Afterwards I told my colleague to stand by me as our business was not finished. She was abit confused as to why I decided to suddenly give out these 'orders', especially when she was a few years senior to me in experience. I told her I wanted to make sure Ray was not having intercourse with her, and I had to do this by lifting his blanket to check if he was naked inside...especially sicne he had a pair of pants on his bed right beside him. There has been cases where the hospital can be sued if the patients had intercourse and got pregnant. Anyhow I peeked inside the blanket and sure enough he was wearing his pants... however I also noticed a trail of tobacco leading to the other pair of pants on his bed.
I politely and assertively told him " Ray, I understand that you have some items on you which need to be returned to the office. I'm sure it is to both our interests that the security not get involved... so please co operate and return those cigarettes." I was not scared, but I knew that there was always the possibility of him lunging at me. However he adhered to my instructions and he handed over 2 packets of cigarette materials and a lighter.
The next morning, when the female patient woke up, she was raging. She swore and threatened to kill Ray, because he "uppercutted" her. She started kicking and smashing the mental health facilities and was really becoming a danger to those around her. We all knew this was not true; there was an underground tobacco blackmarket going on in the ward and Ray was the one caught with the 'goods'.
I am still feeling very proud of myself, as I knew this was going to happen. It was always my intention to divert her away from the nicotine bust and then let her find out in the morning instead, as there will be more staff to deal with her aggression and that at least it was daytime so there would be less disruption in the ward.
I have acquired the skill to lead and manage problems tactfully and foresee potential circumstances from occuring. It is very much important to be able to think on your feet when you are on the ward, and take charge when the situation arises.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Life
Life is funny sometimes. It seems to give you something, then take it away from you just for the heck of it.
I got to see her 2 days out of this short visit. Just now she had returned home. It was very sad seeing her off again. It's becoming a very painful experience as I've had to say goodbye to her multiple times throughout our relationship.
Shit sucks man. Feels like someone is twisting every fiber within my body. This internally driven chronic emotional pain is starting to drive me into a state of numbness.
I got to see her 2 days out of this short visit. Just now she had returned home. It was very sad seeing her off again. It's becoming a very painful experience as I've had to say goodbye to her multiple times throughout our relationship.
Shit sucks man. Feels like someone is twisting every fiber within my body. This internally driven chronic emotional pain is starting to drive me into a state of numbness.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Safety First or Fitness First?
I have been succumbing to peer pressure and attending alot of gym sessions and excerises. I believe I will not continue the current regime now as I have lost over 5kg in less than 2 months. My BMI has fallen down to 22.7 from a 24.9!
I am happy the way I am now. I don't need 6 pacs or huge muscular physique. I suddenly found my first 2 packs and the begginings of the 4th... but I dont think I really need the final 2...hehehe. Anyway, life's good.
I think I like the feeling of being fit again. As a nurse I should always set an example to patients in regards to healthy lifestyle.
I am happy the way I am now. I don't need 6 pacs or huge muscular physique. I suddenly found my first 2 packs and the begginings of the 4th... but I dont think I really need the final 2...hehehe. Anyway, life's good.
I think I like the feeling of being fit again. As a nurse I should always set an example to patients in regards to healthy lifestyle.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Body Combat
Everything has been settled now. With the advice of another close friend, I managed to defuse the situation,. Everything is back to what is was before, and all is forgiven and forgotten. We have gone out several times since then already and we are continuing to have good times. Tonight we went to Marrickville to try out this Greek restaurant..I think it was called Corinthian or something. We ordered this huge plate of pork and lamb platter and couldn't finish it. It was a mountain of roasted meat weighing 1kg+. After the first few pieces, the taste really dulled and we were literally sick of it despite it being beautifully cooked. Afterwards we drove to Newtown and shared some sorbet. I dont remember the name of the shop, but the pistachio flavored sorbet was really good.
Anyway, I am still feeling a bit guilty about tonights dinner! I just did a bunch of situps to help reduce the fat, but I know it's nowhere near enough to lose what I had tonight. Looks like I'll be joining the guys in the gym tomorrow!!!
Addit: And not to mention the golf driving range, badminton game and RPM course next sunday!
Anyway, I am still feeling a bit guilty about tonights dinner! I just did a bunch of situps to help reduce the fat, but I know it's nowhere near enough to lose what I had tonight. Looks like I'll be joining the guys in the gym tomorrow!!!
Addit: And not to mention the golf driving range, badminton game and RPM course next sunday!
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