Facing Abjection

Today the lecturer gave us an intriguing lecture on dealing with burns. The skin is the largest organ in our body and it covers nearly all of us apart from a few holes. If enough damage is done to destroy the skin, it loses sensitivity and the ability to sweat, thus affecting the body temperature regulation. That is why sometimes when we water in a paper cup to patients, they may crush it because they lack the sensation to know how much pressure is applied to the cup.

Perhaps the most difficult part in dealing with these patients is due to the visuals. Skin is something we all take for granted. When all is well, we give skin little thought and some of us even use it as a canvas to put art on. But when illness strikes or something happens to the skin, people tend to put a lot more emphasis on their skin. Skin can determine who we are, our culture and how we belong in society.

When skin is disrupted it can cause a lot of uneasy feeling and bring in chaos to ordinary life. The loss of something they had will cause a horrible feeling that he/she is unwhole. The patient will feel this emotional hole in their life through abjection, especially if the burns are severe.

I feel that nurses must be able to empathize with the patient. Even if we don't want to, the sight of others suffering will cause sadness within most of us. Will we be able to handle the amounts of depression that accumulates within us seeing all these patients in suffering? How are we as caregivers able to cope with the pain?

One of the students asked those questions and the lecturer told us that often there is no way to avoid that kind of emotion as caregivers. Many simply quit the burn treatment department whilst some got 'de-motionalised '.

I don't think I am able to become a burn treatment specialist because I have a weak heart. Speaking of abjection, I will be experiencing it in around 8 months, when the one I truly love will leave me forever.

Skin Pigmentation

I had an awkward experience with Rianne recently during a bus ride to uni. We were sitting near the front and we were having a casual conversation. The bus was half full; all the seats were taken but no one was standing.
Anyways, out of nowhere Rianne screams out:

"OMG YOUR SKIN IS SO WHITE!! YOU NEED A TAN, YOUR WHITER THAN I AM!!"

I felt a bit unnerved because all the other passengers were looking at us. The girl sitting opposite to us was trying to hide her laughter, and I felt that the people at the back were awaiting my response.

All I could say was "That's because you are a Phillipino and I'm Chinese.."

I don't know what the point of that was.. but one day I will look back and laugh my head off.

Concentration

I have become emotionally involved in a problem my friend is facing. It never was a big issue in the first place in my opinion, but my friend didn't think so. We have been talking about the problem for over a week now, usually hours on the phone every night. The problem itself cannot be solved, as my friend knows the source of the problem but does not want it to leave.

Her situation is equivalent to a patient an infected limb which needs to be chopped off before it spreads to the rest of the body, but the owner of the limb cannot psychologically accept the fate of losing that ugly limb.

This somewhat causes frustrations for me because I really care about my friend. But if my friend chooses not to part with the problem, then the problem will continue on. Now I find myself unable to sleep as well because I am absorbed into my friend's problem. I am unable to concentrate on my own tasks and/or work efficiently with my time, as I worry about my friend and I try to think of ways to overcome it for her - even though I know the only person that can make a difference is my friend. Maybe this is a sign that I cannot help this friend anymore because its slowly become my problem too.

I must learn to cope with pressures and control my concentration. In the future people's lives will be at risk if my mind is not focused on my task, but instead on my(or my friend's) personal problems.

Listening/Speaking Skills

As a future nurse it is inevitable that I need to be able to initiate and communicate effectively with other people. While I have no real problems with casual conversations, I tend to be a bit unresponsive when catering to people who share with me their grief. This is not to say that I don't care, but that I don't know how to act or what to say but listen. This is something I must improve on before I graduate because it is an essential skill dealing with people who have just suffered losses or other traumas.

Many friends have shared unfortunate news to me these few weeks. I am able to listen and feel their pain, but when they ask me to speak my thoughts, I don't know what to say. I have my own views on their matters but because I am not experiencing it first hand, saying something wrong may cause them to see me as a disrespectful person. By the end of the conversation I feel that I have not helped the people who come to me.

I MUST DEVELOP MY SOCIAL SKILLS!!

New Beginning

Although I previously announced that I will not blog anymore, I have decided to start a new one so that I am able to reflect upon my thoughts as a student. This is the third blog that I have created; the first being a Geocities site, the second being a Myspace. This will be the most serious blog of the three, as I believe as a future health professionalist, speaking of unnecessarily offensive things is taboo.

I am a male studying Masters of Nursing, with a background discipline of Business Studies/Commerce. I look forward to an interesting and thought provoking journey to becoming a health professional in the coming two years.

Anyways, to get started - So far the nursing course has been a stressful one. As one could imagine, the transition from a business into a scientific mind frame can really test out a person's limits. I understand the concepts at the moment (it's still only the 2nd week) , but this is only because I have put a whole lot of time and effort into it. In contrast, I easily passed the Business degree with a credit without studying or attending classes.

The students at nursing are very nice. I think approximately 2/5 are males, which is doubly more than what I expected. So far I have made around 12 friends, all of them older than me in age and experience. It feels really great to not be outcasted because of my gender, race or age.

In these two weeks, I have already felt a sense of achievement because I feel that I am able to overcome the fear of engaging in casual conversations with people much older than me.

As I experience more throughout these two years (as a student) and beyond (as a nurse), I will try to put them into the blog so that I am able to reflect and gather after sight on whether perceptions change in time or not.

One person I really need to acknowledge and thank is Linda. Without her, many of the things I have achieved at the moment will not have been possible. Her guidance and support really got me out of sticky situations and her friendship will never be forgotten. Thank you Linda!


P.S - Today is a special day because my girlfriend is coming back from her trip to Hong Kong. I wonder if she got fat?!